1:14am. What the hell am I doing awake at 1:14am. I should be passed out by now, having given in to the soothing calmness that is sleep. But no. I am wide awake. Why? In one word - stress.

I have this tendency to overthink, overplan, overanalyse and overargue every situation and it has the tendency to drive me absolutely bonkers. It leads to symptoms like mood swings, bitchiness, pulling out of my hair and, most noticeably, lack of sleep.

What do I have to stress about, you may ask? 11 days. I have 11 days to pack my life into boxes, suitcases, duffelbags, backpacks and handbags before packing myself onto a plane, leaving the friends that I have accumulated over the last year, and returning to the country of my birth where I have no job awaiting me.

In order to deal with this formidable task, I have compiled a list of things that I need to do over the next few days to help me try and relieve my stress. I thought I would share it with you.

• Pack
• Send boxes home
• Clean my apartment for the new tenant who is arriving on the day that I leave
• Send money home
• Arrange to have all of my last paycheques sent to my SA account
• Do photo shoots
• Return my cellphone
• Have goodbye dinners
• Attend a goodbye lunch with staff members
• Attend a goodbye dinner with staff members
• Go to school for two days
• Give goodbye presents to my co-teachers and principals
• Buy the last few gifts for people in Cape Town
• Pack up my desk at school

These activities will not necessarily be done in that order. Of course, the intention of writing them down was to help me relax - having a plan sometimes does that - but all it has ended up doing is providing more stress as I need to plan my days in accordance with these plans and not everything goes according to plan, as you well know. Life gets in the way sometimes and when I have a strict schedule to stick to, it is all too easy for small things to stress me out. Small things like unexpected dinners or cancellations. And thus I end up here - wide awake at 1:25am, dying to fall asleep but unable to stop my mind from running wild.

Sorry for the rant. I didn't know what else to do. I just needed to get this off my mind.