Whenever I thought of moving to Korea, I always pictured myself teaching children, settling into school life, taking trips to Seoul on the weekends, constantly being surrounded by students, colleagues and friends. Somehow, being alone escaped my attention. It didn't feature in my idea of what Korean life would be like.
This weekend, I experienced more aloneness than I think I have ever felt. Sure, when I was at University, there were times when I was left to my own devices. When I was looking after the house and my parents were on holiday, I was left alone. But there was always a friend just a phonecall or sms away, and it ended up being my decision to be alone rather than a necessity. Here, I knew few people, and had no way of contacting them. I had no cellphone to just call people up and make arrangements, I had no idea where I was (I knew what it was called, but I didn't know any landmarks) so I couldn't arrange to meet anyone in any case even if we could have made a plan, and I had no computer to just chat away to my friends back home. I was left alone in my room, lapping up books as though they were oxygen and counting down the hours until 14:00, when it would be 7:00 in South Africa and my friends might be waking up. Then I would walk down to the internet cafe (which I thankfully found on my second day in Cheongju) and chat away for hours until I felt like I had overstayed my welcome and then I would go home, find some food (once even cooking for myself after finding groceries) and then go back to reading. This was my routine for two days, with nothing of excitement in between. I struggled to sleep at night because of the strange noises that the fridge and the plumbing in my apartment made, not to mention the loud clanking footsteps on the stairs to the building, the sound of doors slamming and of neighbours moving around in their apartments above and to the side of me. By the time Monday night rolled around, I was exhausted, but knew that this exhaustion would still not be enough to give me a good night's sleep. I had been eyeing the bottle of pills that the doctor had given me for the plane, and eventually gave in, deciding that taking a sleeping pill would be my only real option for peaceful sleep. I needed to be rested the next morning - it was my first day of work, after all.
Monday morning rolled around, and for the first time in days, I moved around my apartment with purpose. I woke up at 7am (or more rolled out of bed, since for no apparent reaosn, I had woken up at 5 and had been rolling around trying to get more sleep since then) and began what I hoped would become my new daily routine - pouring myself some cereal, sitting down to watch CNN (a discovery I had made the night before) as I ate, then dressing, making myself gorgeous, gathering my things and heading out the door for the 10 minute walk to school. When I got to the school, my first discovery was that I would not in fact be teaching. It was the students first day at school, and those who weren't being shown around the school were taking some kind of test. Tomorrow, I was told, my lessons would start. And so, my first day at school involved meeting my fellow teachers, all of whom seemed very nice and helpful and seemed fascinated by me - a native English speaker, a foreigner, a new toy - and not much else. I was taken to lunch by the principal, along with about 10 of the other new teachers to the school (a lunch at which I ate very little, because everything seemed so strange and I didn't know what kind of meat they were serving). I puttered around the internet, replying to e-mails and facebook messages and seeing what was new in all of my friends lives. And then, it was 16:30. Hometime. I got to take the school laptop with me (which made me happy) only to find that I couldn't connect to the internet (which saddened me beyond reason.) I turned on the TV, watched some CNN, tried to read only to find that I was all read out, and then took another pill and went to sleep.
This morning, I woke up slightly earlier, having rushed slightly to get everything done on time yesterday. I had decided that I was going to take my time today, and I did, And at 7:35 I was ready, having taken 5 minutes longer than the day before despite waking up more than half an hour earlier (my alarm is a funny thing whose hour hand often decides to jump back slightly when it sees the silver alarm hand approaching, as though rushing to greet it). I puttered around in my apartment for an extra 10 minutes, absentmindedly watching CNN and trying to make sure that I didn't forget anything (which I ended up doing anyway) and then started my walk to school, which went quicker than yesterday because, I like to think, I was walking with a little bit more confidence. I arrived at the school earlier than most, but that was okay because I didn't mind having the chance to check my mail before most people arrived. Then I was informed that, once again, I wouldn't be teaching today because the students were taking some kind of entrance exam. And so, my day has been much the same as yesterday - spent puttering around the internet, though this time I went to lunch with the rest of the teachers and thereafter found myself walking with the two who are closest to my age to the art gallery (at the suggestion of the art teacher, whose work was featured there once upon a time. The same art teacher is also making arrangements for a housewarming/birthday party at my house towards the end of the month, which he intends to invite all the teachers to.)
And now, here I am. Doing the same thing as yesterday, but with a big more confidence and a bit more gusto. And I actually have plans tonight - one of the teachers is going to teach me Korean, the prospect of which I can honestly say (without a hint of sarcasm) makes me a little bit excited. We'll have to see how it goes.
This weekend, I experienced more aloneness than I think I have ever felt. Sure, when I was at University, there were times when I was left to my own devices. When I was looking after the house and my parents were on holiday, I was left alone. But there was always a friend just a phonecall or sms away, and it ended up being my decision to be alone rather than a necessity. Here, I knew few people, and had no way of contacting them. I had no cellphone to just call people up and make arrangements, I had no idea where I was (I knew what it was called, but I didn't know any landmarks) so I couldn't arrange to meet anyone in any case even if we could have made a plan, and I had no computer to just chat away to my friends back home. I was left alone in my room, lapping up books as though they were oxygen and counting down the hours until 14:00, when it would be 7:00 in South Africa and my friends might be waking up. Then I would walk down to the internet cafe (which I thankfully found on my second day in Cheongju) and chat away for hours until I felt like I had overstayed my welcome and then I would go home, find some food (once even cooking for myself after finding groceries) and then go back to reading. This was my routine for two days, with nothing of excitement in between. I struggled to sleep at night because of the strange noises that the fridge and the plumbing in my apartment made, not to mention the loud clanking footsteps on the stairs to the building, the sound of doors slamming and of neighbours moving around in their apartments above and to the side of me. By the time Monday night rolled around, I was exhausted, but knew that this exhaustion would still not be enough to give me a good night's sleep. I had been eyeing the bottle of pills that the doctor had given me for the plane, and eventually gave in, deciding that taking a sleeping pill would be my only real option for peaceful sleep. I needed to be rested the next morning - it was my first day of work, after all.
Monday morning rolled around, and for the first time in days, I moved around my apartment with purpose. I woke up at 7am (or more rolled out of bed, since for no apparent reaosn, I had woken up at 5 and had been rolling around trying to get more sleep since then) and began what I hoped would become my new daily routine - pouring myself some cereal, sitting down to watch CNN (a discovery I had made the night before) as I ate, then dressing, making myself gorgeous, gathering my things and heading out the door for the 10 minute walk to school. When I got to the school, my first discovery was that I would not in fact be teaching. It was the students first day at school, and those who weren't being shown around the school were taking some kind of test. Tomorrow, I was told, my lessons would start. And so, my first day at school involved meeting my fellow teachers, all of whom seemed very nice and helpful and seemed fascinated by me - a native English speaker, a foreigner, a new toy - and not much else. I was taken to lunch by the principal, along with about 10 of the other new teachers to the school (a lunch at which I ate very little, because everything seemed so strange and I didn't know what kind of meat they were serving). I puttered around the internet, replying to e-mails and facebook messages and seeing what was new in all of my friends lives. And then, it was 16:30. Hometime. I got to take the school laptop with me (which made me happy) only to find that I couldn't connect to the internet (which saddened me beyond reason.) I turned on the TV, watched some CNN, tried to read only to find that I was all read out, and then took another pill and went to sleep.
This morning, I woke up slightly earlier, having rushed slightly to get everything done on time yesterday. I had decided that I was going to take my time today, and I did, And at 7:35 I was ready, having taken 5 minutes longer than the day before despite waking up more than half an hour earlier (my alarm is a funny thing whose hour hand often decides to jump back slightly when it sees the silver alarm hand approaching, as though rushing to greet it). I puttered around in my apartment for an extra 10 minutes, absentmindedly watching CNN and trying to make sure that I didn't forget anything (which I ended up doing anyway) and then started my walk to school, which went quicker than yesterday because, I like to think, I was walking with a little bit more confidence. I arrived at the school earlier than most, but that was okay because I didn't mind having the chance to check my mail before most people arrived. Then I was informed that, once again, I wouldn't be teaching today because the students were taking some kind of entrance exam. And so, my day has been much the same as yesterday - spent puttering around the internet, though this time I went to lunch with the rest of the teachers and thereafter found myself walking with the two who are closest to my age to the art gallery (at the suggestion of the art teacher, whose work was featured there once upon a time. The same art teacher is also making arrangements for a housewarming/birthday party at my house towards the end of the month, which he intends to invite all the teachers to.)
And now, here I am. Doing the same thing as yesterday, but with a big more confidence and a bit more gusto. And I actually have plans tonight - one of the teachers is going to teach me Korean, the prospect of which I can honestly say (without a hint of sarcasm) makes me a little bit excited. We'll have to see how it goes.
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